Happy New Year 2011

January 1, 2011

For as the heavens are higher than the earth,

so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Isaiah 55:9

Dear Friends and Family,

As we end the adventures of 2010 and embark on what God has for us in 2011, we rejoice that our Sovereign God’s perfect plan includes our sanctification and joy—even when we don’t understand His ways and His thoughts.  It is a great encouragement to know that God’s intentions are not limited by our understanding.  As we look back over the last year we can rejoice in the accomplishment of His plans with certain hope that the New Year will bring more evidence of His love in our lives.

The past year has had several unusual twists and turns.  Kirsten’s life has been filled with travel and plans for travel.  The travel occurred when she made a mission trip in March to Mexico and a school trip in June to France.  If you are keeping track, that is four continents for her before the age of 18.  The spring and summer also held some college exploration trips.  Her heart is to major in French and become qualified to teach English as a foreign language as a missionary in a French speaking country (preferably in Northern Africa).  These experiences and desires pointed her in the direction of Wheaton College as the best place for her to continue her education after graduation next June.  After  working hard in school, taking the ACTs, and completing her application she was rewarded with a letter of acceptance into Wheaton.  We are so proud of the young woman she has become and is becoming through God’s gracious plan.  Her departure will be very difficult for the rest of the family, especially her daddy, but we all know that it is the right thing at the right time and are eagerly waiting to see how God provides for her and prepares her.

Andrew’s year has been one of sports and music.  His trombone playing has progressed wonderfully.  It’s amazing what regular practice will accomplish.  In the spring he once again played baseball and thrived defensively.  His stroke at the plate really came around at the end of the season and he played a significant role in the team’s third place finish in the final tournament.  In the fall it was football.  As a member of one of the South Falcons seventh grade teams he performed extremely well on the offensive and defensive lines.  The real joy and success, however, came as the year closed as a member of one of the school’s basketball teams.  In his first venture onto an organized team in this sport, he really made a huge impact by leading his team in rebounding virtually every game, playing great defense against the other team’s big men, and growing in his understanding of ways to contribute on offense.  He has declared that this is indeed his favorite sport—not unusual for a boy who has grown as much as he has this year passing both his sister and mother in height and confidently telling his dad that he is next to be passed.  To top things off his academic team of teachers named him the student of the month for December—way to go, Andrew!

At the close of 2009 Jadon had been with us only seven months and was still struggling to make any sense out of his new life in the United States.  A year later, after 19 months, there is significant change in his behavior, his understanding, and his demeanor.  Yes, there are still some very difficult and trying times, but in general he is a real joy to have around.  The expectations of him at school in third grade are much greater than they were in second grade—and he is meeting them well in regard to his behavior.  We are fortunate to have had many partners in this effort—counselors, school personnel, church friends, and family.  Academically, it is a real challenge, but his teachers and parents are very encouraged by his tremendous abilities and potential and are truly amazed at the progress that he has made in such a short amount of time.  He began piano lessons in September and has done well there (with a tremendous teacher).  Every time people who do not have regular contact with him see him again they marvel at his growth in terms of language and communication.  Virtually everyone who meets him likes and enjoys him.  He is really a funny guy—now it is sometimes even intentional.

Ruth has continued to focus her energies toward serving others as a helper and a life-giver.  Most of her time and energy are spent as mom and wife as she seeks to make the home a haven of security that enables growth for others.  She continues to teach private voice students from both Altoona High School and Chippewa Falls High School during the school day three days a week.  In addition, she has joined a team of women at church who are teaching the “Little Church” group during the message (Jadon loves this, by the way).  Her passion for people is seen in her continuing efforts to stay in touch with friends and relatives across the country.  Facebook has become a valuable tool and she recently joined the army of phone texters—thanks to Kirsten’s fine instruction.  She has also met on a semi-regular basis with a former student of Alan’s who is now an intern for Campus Crusade for Christ on the UW-Eau Claire campus.  Her favorite book of the year (other than the Bible) was “Crazy Love” by Francis Chan.  Her crazy love for her family is fueled by the crazy love that she experiences from her heavenly Father.  It is exciting to see and experience how God demonstrates His crazy love to all of our family through her.

Alan’s spring semester was quite the adventure since he was on sabbatical from the university, doing a sabbatical project that involved observing classes and interviewing teachers and students at four high schools in the Twin Cities area, and taking classes in St. Paul.  It was a very different semester but a welcomed change of pace that did provide some refreshment.  This summer he came back to the university to serve as an orientation adviser and began an internship in two different school districts.  The internship continued into the fall semester when he went back to teaching full time.  It was difficult to go back to school after experiencing a more reasonable work load and the flexibility to accomplish some real scholarship and learning.  He continues with the internships and hopes to complete that process this spring.  He is amazed at how God has used recent circumstances, especially connected to Jadon, to teach him some very important lessons about himself.  God is working in mysterious ways, but good ways—even if we don’t understand them.

Thanks for the role that all of you play in our lives.  Even if we haven’t seen you in years, you are remembered and God has used you in remarkable ways to impact us—even recently.  May He bless you with a perspective that allows you to worship Him for His grace that is demonstrated to all of us in ways that we can’t even begin to grasp since His thoughts are so much higher than our thoughts.  May your 2011 be filled with an awareness of His touch!

Blessings to all in Christ Jesus,

Alan, Ruth, Kirsten, Andrew and Jadon Rieck

June days

We finally made it out of school.  Jadon's last couple of weeks of school were relatively uneventful (a major accomplishment, especially with so many unstructured events happening).  I (Ruth) credit the Lord with this accomplishment.  I was talking with one of the teachers one day and she mentioned that Jadon just seems so reactionary.  That got my brain whirling.  I wondered if his constant going a mile a minute and talking so fast and his erratic behavior might all  be related.  I set him down and suggested that what he really needed to concentrate on was slowing down and thinking.  He told me later that worked.  So we were very happy with the way school ended.  Andrew and Kirsten finished without much fanfare as well.

Heading into summer we were initially very busy with baseball games.  Andrews team improved steadily throughout the season (as did Andrew).  They nearly made it into the championship game of the tournament...held back by some very questionable umping.  They won their consolation game by a landslide.  We all cheered frantically.  It was both relaxing and a ton of fun.  Andrew had a couple of huge hits that would have been home runs inside their home field park.  It was a nice end to the season.  Andrews slow start kept him off the all-star team but he was pleased where he wound up, nevertheless.

I entered into some summer homeschooling with Jadon.  I have new respect for homeschool moms.  But we are making progress.  Jadon's reading seems to be improving...although not as fast as I would like.  I just want him to catch up with his class.  He's been a trooper though and puts up with my tendency to push.  He's even started doing some reading comprehension exercises and although he balked at them initially he seems to be getting the hang of it.  I know this will be of tremendous assistance when it comes to taking the 3rd grade WKCE test in October.

Currently Jadon is taking swimming lessons.  So far so good.  Alan has taken him to give me a little down time (which I appreciate tremendously!!!).  Jadon loves the water and has done a fairly good job listening to the instructor.  Hopefully this is a big step in the right direction.  I know that swimming lessons don't provide a lot of structure.  Jadon has had the hardest time adapting to unstructured circumstances.  He's not done yet...but I'm hopeful.

We've also tried him at the neighborhood playground program at one of the local parks.  That has met mixed reviews (even less structured than swimming lessons) but we're hoping that by the end of the summer his relational skills will have improved and he will have gotten much better at adapting to changing routines.

It's really been a pretty big summer so far.  We've had one "family" wedding to start the summer, Alan sang in a second while Andrew, Jadon and I vistited good friends living in Kohler we met in China last year.  (Imagine going all the way to China to meet a family living four hours from us!!!)  That was a wonderful weekend and we all came home refreshed.  This weekend we have my uncle's 80th birthday celebration and my parents are having their 50th wedding anniversary celebration a couple weeks after that...lots of preparation before that happens!  Then we're capping off the summer with another wedding...the biggest!!  Alan's sister has finally met someone worthy of her!  We're so excited.  Everyone is going to have a part.  We'll have to let everyone know how that goes.

Kirsten comes home from France tomorrow.  It's been very strange not having her around for two weeks.  I've missed her terribly and can't wait for her to come home.  Everyone (except Jadon who will stay with a babysitter for the first time) is going to Minneapolis to meet her flight.  We can't wait.  There will be stories, I've been told and lots of pictures to view.  I guess her time away has been a preview to what I'm looking at a year from now.  It doesn't seem possible that my baby is now a senior in high school...which reminds me...Karen, we need to talk about senior pics!

Gotcha Day...one year later

Okay...as usual I'm a little late. "Gotcha Day," the day we met and brought Jadon into our family is actually May 4. The day itself was pretty laid back as far as celebrating goes. I had to work, giving voice lessons all day and Alan was in the Twin Cities. We celebrated as a family this past weekend by going to Mall of America in Bloomington, MN and letting the kids ride the amusement park rides there. Jadon got off his first ride (the ferris wheel) and declared this the "best present ever!" After several hours we left to have dinner at Lucky China on Robert Street in West St. Paul by recommendation of our friend Barb Pentecost. The food was by far the best Chinese food with have had in the states. None of us left feeling as though we'd ever had a better egg roll too. Alan's parents and his sister, Paula and her fiancé, Greg joined us in this celebration as well. A good time was had by all.

As we look back over the last year it is so amazing to review everything we have come through. Now that we are a year away from it we can recognize that the difficulties we encountered in Guangzhou those ten days there with Jadon were probably due mostly to fear (by all of us)--though we couldn't see it at the time. We really weren't prepared for the effect it would have on the existing relationships. We knew there would be challenges but we weren't prepared for the types of challenges that we would face. We expected some delayed development and were prepared to re-work through some developmental stages with Jadon. What we weren't prepared for was the dramatic fashion these played out or the frequency of what we now consider regression. This is by far the most challenging thing any of us have ever done.

But it is also one of the most rewarding things as well. We are seeing Jadon mastering the language (though he's not there yet he has come so far). While he did not know the alphabet a year ago he now can read quite a number of children's books with very little difficulty. His desire for this seems to grow at a more and more rapid rate all the time. School has been an adventure for Jadon, us, and the school personnel. Overall, he has benefited tremendously from all the care, concern, and hard work they have put in. His ELL teacher is truly a gift to him and to us. She has been more than tremendous.

The relationships with the family continue to grow. He regularly shows his affection to each of us, sometimes in unique ways. He and Andrew have lots of adventures and some real brother moments. There are occasionally some rapids to navigate, but that is normal with brothers. He has grown in his connection to his sister, but we see the biggest change in his connection to me. We continue to work on trust so he feels safe sharing his feelings--there is a way to go there since he has blocked them for so long, but he is making progress.

We returned home one year ago today. My what a difference a year makes. We have been blessed by Jadon's presence in our lives (it came with many challenges, and still does). God is working in all of us and we are so thankful.

It's been a long time

Wow. When I (Ruth) opened our blog for the first time in forever I saw that our last post was Thanksgiving. Yikes. I get an "F" in blogging. I suppose that shouldn't surprise me...I've never been good at journaling. I take writing more seriously than I need to so rather than just expressing myself I will write and rewrite and re-rewrite and re-re-rewrite...you get the picture. I've thought about this off and on for quite some time so here goes...

A lot has changed since November. We experienced a major holiday and two minor holidays since then. That is significant because Jadon has this fear of being left out of events. The week before Christmas he was a bear at school and lost privileges along the way. He wasn't quite so bad at home but was a lot more edgy than what we had come to accept as normal. He was terrified that everyone in the family would get presents but him. He was also very fearful of sleeping in the basement with his brother. (I guess that doesn't surprise me too much though. Basements aren't my favorite either and Andrew still leaves all the lights in the entire basement on when he's down there alone.) He kept thinking he was seeing ghosts (I think partly because he saw Disney's The Princess and the Frog). We learned the hard way that he doesn't clearly see the difference between fiction and reality as our older two did. Needless to say, Christmas morning was a hoot (even though it started at around 4:30 for Andrew and Jadon--to their credit they didn't wake us up until around 7)! He couldn't hardly believe all the presents he received.

We thought things would settle down after Christmas. Although we celebrated with my family right after New Year's he wasn't told about presents there until it happened. The anticipation wasn't there. What we failed to forget was that Jadon had been invited to a birthday party the day before school started again. He was a nervous wreck having never been to a birthday party before. But he did great. (Of course it was a pool party and he loves the water.)

Shortly after Christmas we decided it was time to separate the two boys and give them their own rooms. Tensions had escalated before Christmas and once Jadon got home with all his new loot he was a possessive bear, making life miserable for Andrew. Andrew especially has been happy with the new arrangement (and his queen size bed!). He's even managed to make his bed almost every day as requested. (I'm quite proud of him for that one.) Jadon has adjusted well and likes his own room for the most part. He has mentioned several times that he'd like to go back to the way things were...not on your life!

Then came Valentine's Day. We didn't mention anything before notice came home from school. Then we had to go to the store and buy the valentines that very night. A few days before his party he again started acting out terribly. When I questioned him he admitted that he was afraid nobody would give him any valentines. I assured him that wouldn't happen but trust levels still aren't where I hope they'll be next year at this time (or even now, for that matter) and the acting out continued. He came home from school the day of his party very pleased with all the valentines and candy he received which begged the question, "Now Mommy was right, wasn't I?" He sheepishly had to agree. Things have actually been a little better in the trust department since that time.

Which brings us to the present day. His winter report card came home yesterday. Academically he's showing some significant progress. He even got a "4" in music for his ability to sing a 3-note song (meaning he is exceeding the end of the year standard for second graders). It only seems right I guess. God put him in the right family. The area that still needs improvement is in his behavior. While he's shown considerable progress in understanding what is appropriate behavior in school he is very inconsistent and frequently needs reminders about what is appropriate. We've decided that his "toddler" mindset of the world revolving around just him and nobody else mattering needs to have some enlightenment. It's a tough balancing act so pray that God gives wisdom in how we go about this. So far, so good. The report today was that he had a great day at school. Yeah!!!

Now, since the Rieck family consists of Alan, Ruth, Kirsten and Andrew as well as Jadon it seems only right to include an update of our lives as well.

Alan is currently taking administrative classes at Hamline University while he is on sabbatical. He is extremely busy with his observations for his sabbatical project as well as taking 12 credits. But Mr. I-love-to-go-to-school seems to be handling everything fairly well. The information he's been gleaning from one of his classes is even helping us on the communication front...always a good thing!

As a junior Kirsten gets at least 10 informational college brochures every week. She's starting to consider her options. She currently works at Fazoli's but is hoping to find a position that will give her more hours. She has an interview next week after turning in an application last night so she is hopeful.

Andrew is taking trombone lessons now along with piano. He seems to be excelling which is fun for two musical parents. He's starting to settle more into the middle school expectations and has had fewer anxiety attacks regarding his schoolwork and tests recently. He's been doing very well, getting A's in most of his classes.

And I am busy two full days a week with voice students. I currently have 12 students which can be a bit draining since many of them are young and require a bit more energy from me. God has also been opening my eyes to sin in my own life in the most unexpected ways. I can't say it's been a lot of fun, but I am grateful that He is showing me where I am in need of continued growth.

Above all, the last few months have started to bring all of us into a new equilibrium which had been way out of whack when Jadon first came home. I'm sure we'll continue to need adjusting, but for now...life is good. Praise the Lord!!

Happy Thanksgiving!

With the onslaught of family, I (Ruth) was too tired to do any blogging last night...so as usual I am "a day late and a dollar short." All my family was here to celebrate with us. It was a pleasant day.

We spent a fair amount of time trying to prepare Jadon for this special day. Still he can be so unpredictable...we weren't sure what to expect. We shouldn't have worried...he did fine. He ate well, declaring the meal "Yummy!" He shared his toys with his cousins without any fuss at all (although he did grouse a bit this morning upon discovery that a number of them had been left lying on the floor...who can blame him for that?). He ended his day with a "sleepover"---he and his siblings on the basement floor. He thought that was pretty good.

Kirsten and I managed to escape for awhile and take a walk...something I desperately needed after eating waaaaaaaay too much food. We had a great time talking. I so enjoy her. She has been a great encouragement to me. (I know others attest to this also.)

Alan was able to do his own escaping and talk with his family for awhile too. He kept everything balanced...his usual role when the whole family is together.

The most major mishap of the day occurred when Andrew ripped a piece of skin from his big toe running to come to dinner. Poor guy was left with blood running down his foot and tears running down his face. But he was brave and allowed me to clip away the damaged skin and bandage his foot. He waited to got through the buffet line until the very end, placing his foot gingerly above his head as he waited. It did not seem to affect his appetite much when he finally got his food. I predict he will be fine in no time.

We certainly have much for which to be thankful. In the past year we brought home our son after a long wait. We have come through the trials...maybe not with blazing colors, but with a much deeper awareness of God's grace bestowed on us in the mundane things of everyday life. What a gift that is!!!!! We have once again experienced our God who lifts us from the pit and sets us on the Rock; leaned on friends who pray tirelessly for our progress and Jadon's; and observed the love of our church family on a deeper level. None of us has experienced any major illness despite all of us being exposed on more than one occasion to the H1N1 virus. God is good.

Happy Birthday Jadon!

Okay...we're a little slow, like we are with everything these days.

Jadon celebrated his assigned birthday on November 7. He turned nine. The week prior to his birthday was filled with all sorts of difficulty, mostly bad choices in behavior at school. He was excited, afraid and overwhelmed all at the same time. It made for some very excitable behavior and a great deal of hyperactivity. Thankfully his behavior at home was not too bad!

About a week before his birthday Jadon and I (Ruth) went birthday present idea shopping. Jadon was fairly flying. He confided in me that he had never had the occasion to open a gift before. No wonder he was exited!

Friday morning I took cupcakes over to school with some extra for the principal, her secretary and the ELL staff (it had been quite the trying week for them...we wanted to show some appreciation). The cupcakes were left in the office until the afternoon when they were brought out for a special celebration of him. Jadon related that it was a very nice experience for him. I am so glad. He waited so long for this.

We left for Geneva, IL after Jadon was done with school on Friday. We had movies for the kids to watch in the car so that helped keep everyone calm and engaged in something other than making trouble. Traffic was heavy for some reason so the going was a little slower than normal. We arrived at Alan's parents' home around 9:30, an hour after Jadon's normal bedtime. Jadon walked in and took over the place! We finally got him to bed around 10:00.

The boys slept together (probably won't happen again). Since neither one is accustomed to sharing a bed space they both were awake fairly early the morning of Jadon's birthday. Jadon was ready for his special day. After breakfast we allowed him to open a package that had arrived the day before from his friend Drew (whom he knew from the orphanage). He was ecstatic to have received two "racing" motorcycle toys. After lunch he opened his scooter from us. He'd been hoping for a scooter and played happily with it up and down the sidewalk in front of his grandparent's house much of the afternoon.

Aunt Paula and Greg showed up after lunch also and brought several gifts. They allowed him to open the Star Wars Lego sets they had brought. Looking back, we are very thankful that he opened several of his gifts early. It made it an easier transition for him.

By late afternoon Alan's cousins had arrived. Alan and I busied ourselves in the kitchen making dumplings (a favorite of Jadon's) while Alan's mom was busy making chow mein. Alan's dad helped cook the dumplings. Yummy! We finished off the meal with funfetti cake.

Once the dishes were cleared Jadon's remaining presents were whisked in. Jadon had been waiting all day for this! Along with a couple of cards with money he received several games (good gifts because he needs to interact with the family to enjoy them), new pajamas and slippers, a Matchbox fire hose (a politically correct title for foam ball gun!), a new Mario Wii game and a final gift from us--the Jesus Storybook Bible (a wonderful Bible storybook...we'd recommend it to anyone with very young children). He has used or played with every single gift and enjoyed them tremendously. Thank you everyone!!!

The first few days home after the birthday weekend were hard. Jadon liked the idea of having a special weekend celebration just for him. It was a very hard reality that not every day will be all about him. Thankfully that only lasted a couple of days. He seems to be adjusting fairly well since then, settling in more at home especially. He still has minor lapses, benign tantrums that are usually quite easily nipped in the bud, but we are very pleased with the ways that he has demonstrated his trust and love.

When we consider that Jadon has only been with us for just over six months it is astounding to count what has been accomplished in that short time. It is still a long road in developing the man of character that I envision for Jadon but God is so faithful in showing us how He is working. His new storybook Bible has presented more than one great conversation about his relationship to us as well as God's sovereign action in his life. It is amazing (and even humerous) how God "sets" Jadon up to hear these stories... the discussions are so much more poignant than even I could have dreamed. Praise be to God who gives the victory!

Struggles and Triumphs

It did not take us long to learn that Jadon has a very strong will. It developed over years of hurts and struggles no child should ever endure. It has served him well in many ways. He is a survivor. The problem we are discovering with this is that breaking him out of survivor mode and into family mode is quite challenging. We want to break the sinful will without breaking the spirit (much as a horse is broken well). The pattern of struggle and triumph is weaving together a complex pattern that has two sides...an ugly one full of sinful beliefs and habits and one that is developing into a beautiful pattern we pray will become more and more like Jesus.

The pattern of struggle and triumph has become more pronounced as Jadon has spent a number of weeks at school now. He has needed to learn that there are rhythms to his days but they are weekly rhythms and not daily ones. As he has learned this his patterns of behaviors have become less extreme...weekends are becoming more enjoyable for the family, teachers are generally having fewer behavior problems to deal with on Mondays, etc. Having said that...his behaviors are still erratic and unpredictable. Often we are learning to expect problem behaviors because they usually follow bad attitudes (much like any parent would experience with a birth child).

He still demonstrates behavior that is not what you would expect from an 8 year old. Last week he rubbed his mittens in chalk dust from a drawing on the blacktop and then spread it all over his face and jacket. (He was quite the mess when we picked him up from school.) His peers gathered around and stood laughing. In his culture at the orphanage this would have been good in his mind. His wonderful ELL teacher, Becky, explained to him that they were laughing because he was doing something very childish and not because they were enjoying him. This led to a discussion between Jadon and I (Ruth) over matters of heart. We talked about his own hurts and how all the other children at the orphanage had similar hurts which prevented their hearts from growing the way they normally would. We discussed how the children in his class didn't have those same types of hurts (at least I would expect most don't) and that they would look at things that would have been perfectly acceptable in the orphanage and find them very silly. Jadon longs to develop friendships, but is finding it very difficult due to rather frequent episodes like the this. My heart aches for him to grow in his development (which he has...just not as fast as I would like for his sake).

All that said...despite the difficulties there are plenty of successes as well. Jadon is opening up and talking about the wounds he has received over the few years of his life that he remembers. He has spoken of some pretty significant bullying he received at the hands of the older boys in the orphanage--for us an explanation of why he had such a hard time developing attachment to Andrew. The other day he declared that "in China Ge ge (older brother) bad; in Megua (USA) Ge ge good." It's truly wonderful to see Andrew and Jadon rolling around on the ground, laughing and giggling and just having fun. Andrew is learning to appreciate Jadon in ways that he couldn't just a few weeks ago. And as Jadon appreciates Andrew as someone who is good and safe, he is finding love for him open up in his own heart.

Jadon and I have come to at least some understanding as well. He and I have had a couple of very significant encounters which have not only demonstrated the depth of the love I have for him but have also revealed the depth of love he has for me. I think it surprised us both! He still doesn't show the respect that I will eventually expect from him but he has become more affectionate and loves to snuggle and kiss on a pretty regular basis. Most days he will very willingly do what he is asked as well (even if he needs the occasional reminder---what child doesn't?). He does love to help and will frequently volunteer even if it would be much fast and easier if he didn't...so we go slower and work a little harder.

Jadon's interactions with Alan and Kirsten have their own unique twists too but I don't think they have had as many significant changes as we've seen in his relationship with Andrew and I. Jadon still loves cuddling with Alan over a book. He doesn't see Kirsten as much now that school has started since she is not only still a very social butterfly but has three jobs she's working right now (all for the purpose of a trip to France).

In every relationship he very much wishes to have absolute control...which is, of course, a pipe dream for anyone! Therefore, the triumphs and struggles persist.

Please keep praying for us as we all work to understand just who Jadon Rieck really is. We want to parent and interact with him in ways that are meaningful and will have the greatest impact in a positive way on his heart and mind. And may the glory be given to Jesus!!!!